Incorporating sex toys into a relationship
As a woman who has been around the sex scene plenty, I’ve had male partners who love and embrace toys, and others who were threatened by the extra aid I used both solo and partnered.
I have been using rabbits, vibrators, and dildos for my entire life while I’ve been jerking off. I never thought there could be an issue when I presented my new bunny vibrator with excitement. I never thought about how that would be received. Instead of excitement, I was met with a wave of insecurity. My partner took my sex toy as a personal insult. That was what it meant to him, that he should be enough.
After that experience, I reapproached how to introduce sex toys to my partner so that I would get what I need in bed, helping them become comfortable with the idea of a sex toy to allow me to come.
I’ve compiled a list of things to consider when bringing sex toys into a relationship.
1. Timing is Key
Pulling out a sex toy from thin hair was a bit shocking and perhaps ill-timed, especially in a new relationship. When introducing sex toys into a relationship, timing is key. Don’t wait till you’re in the middle of play to pull out your rabbit sex toy. Take some time with your partner to discuss, during non-sexy times, how to introduce toys. Know, however, that the discussion may lead to sexy time itself.
However, if you’re interested, discuss the topic in a safe, comfortable place and have your notes ready. Sexy time is for sexy. Get this done when you’re not hot and bothered.
2. Make sure you know what you want
I discovered what I wanted and liked in bed by going out on my own. We need to normalize masturbation and sexual exploration among women, who are usually more reserved when it comes to sex, because society tells us that if we enjoy it too much, we’re sluts.
As a professional masturbator, I’ve tried hundreds of toys and have a good idea of what I like, but that isn’t true for all. Not everyone has the luxury I have of trying to toy after toy.
Before you begin to explore sex with a partner, experiment with yourself first. Touch different parts of your body when you’re alone. Grab a vibrator and put it on parts of your body like your nipples, clit, or perineum. If it has a flare base! Do you like to have your nipples stimulated? Do you like the gentle vibrations? I’d love to hear from you. Perhaps you’ve never had penetration anal, and want to experience that with yourself first.
When you can, purchase a toy that targets the area of your body you want to stimulate—perhaps the masturbator sleeve for an extra stream relationship, or a curved cheese fried vibrator that ideally. If you find sex, try that lights toe-curling orgasm that you want to experience with your partner, bring that into the Macs.
3. Make It About Both of You
Having sex toys can be a regular part of your sex life and be exciting and thrilling for both burners. Consider how to phrase your desire and to incorporate sex toys into your and your partner’s sex life.
Consider how you phrase your desire and draw similarities between the way your partner touches you and how a toy can enhance that experience. Express your enjoyment with that particular stimulation that your partner gives you, and propose a sex toy that can apply that sensation.
For instance, you can make me feel like a female stimulation. Tell your partner that you love that their finger is in your ass and what an anal celebration while they penetrate you, if that’s what you want. Could you find a way for you both to enjoy it? For instance, butt bugs can tighten the crusher out of their dick in your badge while in use, and it also stimulates your ass, having both holes filled at the same time.
Additionally, in the case of But plugs, A male partner, or a partner with a prostate, may enjoy wearing one themselves while they penetrate you or you jack them off. Sex toys are for everyone.
4. They Won’t Replace Your Partner
Sex toys can’t replace a person with whom you have a strong, loving relationship. Neither can it replace fiery connection. However, you must respect boundaries. If they don’t want you to use a sex toy, you have the right to pleasure, and they write for emotional security. It may be time to rethink that relationship. Do what’s best for YOU.
For this author, I need help with sex; orgasms are often hard to reach with a partner, so I have decided to pass on relationships that wouldn’t prioritize my pleasure by allowing sex toys to come into the mix. And it may take some time for a partner who’s experiencing sexual and security issues to get around and be comfortable with the sex toy technology that aids your sex life.
Explain that the toy is not there to replace them or suggest that they are inadequate. Indicate that these toys are designed as an accessory to enhance pleasure, rather than replacing one method with another.
5. Explore Pleasure Together
Think of ways to explore their pleasure with toys. Perhaps your partner has a badge but wants to penetrate you one day. Suggest a harness-compatible dildo and strap-on for you to use to fuck them. Try slipping a vibrator into the harness for your pleasure. You know your body best. Chances are, you both get a good dose of pleasure going at it together.
Butt plugs, anal beads, vibrators, bunny vibrators, rabbit vibrators, male masturbators, and many more types of sex toys exist and are a thrill to explore with your partner. Make it fun, research this together, and fantasize about how each toy can make the two of you feel. Have fun with this.
There are endless ways to experiment with your partner and toys, as each toy can be used in multiple ways. Sometimes you get to be creative. A rabbit vibrator held by your partner, though. Give them a good break. To keep you sexually satisfied- or vice versa- knowing what it’s stimulation you want is key.
Finally, celebrate the little wins, but not at the expense of your pleasure. You deserve to have equal pleasure, and that may mean that a sex toy can help with that, and you have the right to request that assistance. You also have a right to walk away from a partner who doesn’t prioritize your pleasure.
If you’re not someone who speaks up or doesn’t know what you like, take some time to explore your body in a judgment-free zone and figure out what feels good and safe for you.
Reassure an insecure partner that they are not inadequate just because you like sex toys. Remind them that it’s an aid to your pleasure, and it can be fun to use together!
